Gone
by notthetoothfairy
Summary: Since the new episode is only an hour away, I thought I'd give you all some pre-Glee Blangst. Anyone up for it? This is basically just a continuation of the hallway scene in "Glease". Blaine gets comforted by Sugar but he isn't as optimistic as she is.


He didn't move for a while, standing in the deserted hallway, still wearing his Teen Angel outfit and staring at the spot where Kurt and Rachel had disappeared not a few minutes ago.

A strangled sound escaped his lips when the last words Kurt said to him echoed in his head.

"Rachel's right, this isn't home anymore."

Blaine gulped and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks. _Home is where your heart is_, he thought miserably. Had Kurt stopped loving him? Had he moved on already? Blaine wanted to slap himself. He should be happy for Kurt. It wasn't Kurt who ruined their relationship, it was all Blaine. He ruined everything. He had no right to expect Kurt to still love him.

Two hours ago, Blaine had still had hope. When he had spotted him and Rachel backstage and listened to Finn and Rachel make awkward post-break-up small talk while staring at the love of his life longingly, Kurt had looked so shell-shocked and nervous as he kept glancing at Blaine before looking away quickly that Blaine couldn't help but feel that he hadn't written him off just yet.

But then he just had to ruin it. _Again. _He decided to talk to Kurt after the performance. He even planned out a little speech and contemplated whether it would be too drastic to start out with "I love you". Kurt had, as always, been a step ahead of him. He flat out told him he didn't want to talk. And that's where things went downhill.

All the things Blaine had planned to say – like how much he hated himself for hurting the single most important person in his life, how he hated himself even more for trying to blame Kurt for his mistake and how he would do everything in his power to show Kurt he'd never do any of it again and would spend the rest of his life making up for his mistakes – went out of the window the second he felt Kurt pulling away. He just _panicked_. He started rambling and the first thing that came out of his mouth – that stupid, stupid, _stupid_ mouth – was some unnecessary stuff about the other guy which got Kurt even more upset. He blew his chance. The only chance he might have had.

Kurt didn't trust him anymore and there was nothing Blaine could do to convince him otherwise. Because who was he to ask for Kurt's trust? If Blaine could turn back time, he'd either go back and stop himself from cheating on Kurt or he'd stop Kurt from falling in love with him in the first place. He'd probably do the latter so he could spare him the heart break.

_Liar_, Blaine thought. _You'd never do that. You're a selfish jerk, you'd let him fall in love with you again and betray his trust just like before. Because it's what you do._

Because in the end, it figured. It figured he'd screw up sooner or later. He had even told Kurt so, back in the Lima Bean, on Valentine's Day, almost two years ago.

"Blaine?", a voice asked suddenly. Blaine turned around to see Sugar's soft frown, her pink Frenchy hair looking weirdly out of place now that she had changed out of her costume. "Why are you crying?"

Blaine touched his cheek. _Oh._ It seemed like the tears had made their way out after all. He looked at Sugar and hesitated for a minute but when she continued looking at him worriedly, he all but jumped into her arms, burying his head in her neck and started sobbing. She tried to calm him, murmuring "shh, it's alright" into his ear and rubbing his back soothingly. But now that he started to cry, Blaine couldn't seem to stop.

"He's gone", he cried out, his voice raspy from the lump in his throat. "He's gone _again_, Sugar."

Sugar moved one of her hands and started stroking his hair. "Did you get to talk before he left?", she asked softly.

Blaine shook his head.

"Not really", he said, shrugging out of her embrace and wiping his cheeks, "at least not the way I planned it. I tried to talk to him but he told me he didn't want to hear it because-"

He swallowed and looked at the ground. Tears were forming in his eyes again.

"-because he can't trust me anymore."

"Oh, Blaine", Sugar said and took one of his hand in hers. "He's just not there yet. He'll come around."

"But he's right!", Blaine exclaimed. "Relationships are about trust and I betrayed his. I don't deserve him, he's right to leave me. I blew it, Sugar. He won't be coming back."

"Of course he'll come back. This is Lima, he grew up here."

Blaine looked at the ground again, sighing deeply and wishing he could stop the tears from coming back every time Kurt's heart-broken face flashed before his eyes. "I didn't mean Lima." He exhaled shakily. "I meant that he's not coming back to me."

Sugar squeezed his hand tighter. "He still loves you, Blaine."

Blaine looked up at her face through wet eyelashes.

"I doubt it."

* * *

_I hope you liked it. If you want to, leave me a review or a comment in my ask box on Tumblr (username: notthetoothfairy)!  
_

_See you all on Tumblr, fangirling about the upcoming episode!  
_


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